       Urusei                                               Yatsura

                                Urusei Yatsura
                                  Episode #1
                          ''I'm Lum, the Notorious''


                          Version 1.0: D. B. Killings
                                     1987


                           Version 2.0: Jeff Okamoto
                                   06/29/88

       This script is a translation of a copyrighted work, and as such,
           it is subject to applicable international copyright laws.

                                     *****
                  Reproduction of this material is permitted
                         for NON-PROFIT purposes only!
                                     *****

       Scene: A baseball game.

       Pitcher throws the ball, ball is hit into the air.

                                   PLAYER #1
                                  (off stage)

            Left field hit!

                                   PLAYER #2
                        (running, trying to catch ball)

            Oh!  It was hit hard!

       Player #2 turns and notices ball is heading towards ATARU, who is
       walking by at the time.  A nice looking girl passes, and ATARU
       reacts as he always does.

                                   PLAYER #2
                                  (off stage)

            Look out, Ataru!

                                     ATARU
                          (still drooling over girl)

            Wonder who she. . .

       ATARU notices ball heading toward him.

                                     ATARU




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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


            What the?

       The baseball hits him squarely in the face, he falls backwards
       onto a telephone pole, then forward to the ground.  He tries to
       get up.

                                     ATARU

            Damn unlucky day . . .

       He looks up and sees CHERRY standing over him, looking down.

                                     ATARU

            What is it now. . . .  What!  You again?

                                    CHERRY

            The face you have. . . .  Salvation may not be yours.  Very
            bad!

       Three crows are seen flying over - a sign of bad luck.  ATARU is
       clutching CHERRY'S staff, having just hit the monk over the head
       with it.  CHERRY, though, is still trying to warn ATARU.

                                    CHERRY

            That ball is a good sign.  The ridges on your face say that
            much looks wrong with you.

                                     ATARU

            Hmph!  Absurd.  I have no faith in fortune telling.

       ATARU walks away, but CHERRY is still adamant.

                                    CHERRY

            Wait!  If you go, you'll regret it!  An evil event is going
            to take place!

                                     ATARU

            Don't follow me!  Why don't you go back home?

       ATARU departs.

                                    CHERRY

            Unhappy young man. . .  What ever is to happen must happen.
            . .  It would be good to pray.






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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


       Scene: A luxurious car.

       Two government officials are watching ATARU.

                              GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL

            He came.  That's Ataru Moroboshi.  His movement pattern was
            according to information.  Good!

                                GOVERNMENT THUG

            There is no mistake.

       ATARU is watching another girl pass by when the car carrying the
       officials pulls up along side him.  He is -- shall we say -- for-
       cibly persuaded to get in.

                                     ATARU

            What!  What's going on!  What do you people want?!

                                GOVERNMENT THUG
                            (who is holding ATARU)

            We don't like this either.

       The car drives on, and it become apparent that something odd is
       going on.  Soldiers are everywhere, and the car now has a rather
       sizable military escort.

                                     ATARU

            What's happened?

       The car arrives at ATARU's house, which is surrounded by a large
       number of soldiers and tanks.  As the car stops, ATARU is thrown
       forward.

                                     ATARU

            Waaaaaa. . .

                              GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL

            Get out.  Go inside your house.

       Scene: The inside of ATARU's house.

       As ATARU enters, SHINOBU (ATARU's girlfriend) greets him.  She is
       obviously distressed.

                                    SHINOBU

            Ataru!



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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


                                     ATARU

            Shinobu!  Why are you here?

       ATARU embraces SHINOBU.

                                    SHINOBU

            I heard the news report and I was so worried. . . .  worried
            . . .

                                     ATARU

            Huh?  What's going on?

       ATARU's parents enter.  They look in an even worse state.  His
       mother is crying.

                                ATARU'S PARENTS

            Ataru!

                                     ATARU

            What's the matter?  Why do you two have that look?

                                ATARU'S FATHER
                        (pointing to an adjacent room)

            Look inside.

       ATARU enters the room, and gets the surprise of his life.

                                     ATARU

            What on earth. . . . .  Huh?  Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

       Inside is a very large man -- with fangs and horns to boot.
       ATARU is, well, pretty frightened.  The very large man is the
       ALIEN COMMANDER.

                                     ATARU

            Demon!  There's a demon in there!

       ATARU tries to run, but is caught by the GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL,

                              GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL

            Where do you think you're going?  Go in there and introduce
            yourself!

       ATARU is thrown back in.  He sits in front of the ALIEN COM-
       MANDER.



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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


                                ALIEN COMMANDER
                   (with a nice friendly smile on his face)

            I'm an Invader, and we've come to attack (invade) your
            planet!  Here's my card.

       The ALIEN COMMANDER takes out one of his business cards and gives
       it to ATARU .

                                     ATARU

            Hey, well, if you insist.

       CUT TO: A flight of fighters in the sky above ATARU's house.

                                 FIGHTER PILOT
                                 (over radio)

            Squadron to HQ.  An abnormally high layer of electric ioni-
            zation is building up.  Over!

                                      HQ
                                 (over radio)

            Understood!  Be careful!  Over!

       CUT BACK to ATARU's house.

                                     ATARU

            WHAT!!  Play a game with the Invaders?

                              GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL

            As you can see, he is going to attack Earth.  However, on
            one condition he will leave.  His computer is capable of
            choosing among all the people of Earth who should play the
            game, and you were the final result.  If you defeat them. .
            .

                                ALIEN COMMANDER

            We return home.

                              GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL

            For that reason, you must dedicate your young life to the
            good of Earth!

                                     ATARU

            No!

                              GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL



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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


            You refuse!  To fight with the demons?!  What kind of a per-
            son are you?  Bastard!  Are you still an Earthman?  Don't
            you feel any love for Earth?  For that reason people would
            die, but no!  Villain!  Egotist!  Are you not ashamed?  Are
            you still a man?!

       ATARU has now put his arm around SHINOBU, who had recently
       entered the room.  She does not look too thrilled at where
       ATARU's hand is. . .

                                     ATARU

            I'm more than enough of a man!  But this is too much for me!

       He embraces SHINOBU, and the GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL collapses.  Sud-
       denly, the house starts to shake terribly.

                               ATARU and SHINOBU

            Huh?

                                ALIEN COMMANDER

            According to schedule.  Our companion arrives.

       CUT TO: The outside of ATARU's house, where a gigantic electrical
       storm is going on.  The soldiers are getting anxious.  Suddenly,
       from out of the sky, comes an enormous spaceship, garishly
       painted in the trademark tiger-stripe pattern of the planet
       Urusei.  The ship settles above ATARU's house.  A sudden lightn-
       ing bolt hits the house, and everyone in the room is thrown
       around, especially ATARU.  When ATARU recovers, and the bright
       light dies down, we see a young blue-haired girl in a fairly
       revealing tiger-skin bikini.  LUM has arrived.

                                      LUM

            Sorry to have kept you waiting.  I'm Lum, your opponent!

       SHINOBU is obviously surprised - and distressed - by the appear-
       ance of a shapely young girl in front of ATARU.

                                    SHINOBU

            The demon. . .  is a girl!

       ATARU's mind, though, is already going.

                                     ATARU
                             (thinking to himself)

            I have to defeat this good-looking, glamorous girl. . . .

                                ALIEN COMMANDER



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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


                         (introducing her to everyone)

            This is my daughter Lum.  You are to play a game of tag with
            her, and if you can grab her horns within 10 days, you win.

                                     ATARU

            You mean just grab her horns on her body. . .

       Meanwhile, SHINOBU has begun a slow burn, and is not pleased by
       ATARU's sudden change of attitude.

                                    SHINOBU

            Ataru!

                                      LUM
                              (ignoring SHINOBU)

            I'm not all that easy to catch!

                                     ATARU
                              (ignoring SHINOBU)

            Well that can't be helped!  Certainly my hands have enough
            power to embrace. . .

       SHINOBU explodes .

                                    SHINOBU
                                (clawing ATARU)
                                  This. . . .
                                   girl. . .

                                ALIEN COMMANDER
                           (to GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL)

            Well, we've somehow managed to change his mind.

                              GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL
                             (to ALIEN COMMANDER)

            Thank you.  Needless to say, any motive, no matter how
            impure . . .

       Suddenly, a mob of reporters pop up from the floor, cornering
       ATARU, LUM, and SHINOBU.

                                   REPORTERS

            Moroboshi, your impressions!  Your mission is extremely
            important.  Now, what's on your mind!

                                     ATARU



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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


                    (with both LUM and SHINOBU looking on)

            My mission is for Earth!  I'll destroy (beat any) who oppose
            me!

       Scene: A street in Tomobiki town.

       Thousands and thousands and thousands of people have come to
       watch the game.

                                P.A. ANNOUNCER

            The time has come!  The fate of Earth hangs. . .  This
            century's biggest tag game. . .  The military warehouse has
            invested a tidy sum of money, and as planned the game will
            begin in front of the station.

                                     ATARU
                             (talking to himself)

            I'll show her my abilities and throw my arms around her!

                              GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL

            On your marks!

       ATARU and LUM get ready.  The GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL fires a gun.

                              GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL

            Go!

       ATARU runs towards LUM.

                                     ATARU

            Iyaaaa. . .  Got you!

       LUM, however, merely jumps up into the air -- and flies, neatly
       brushing ATARU aside.

                                     ATARU

            No fair!  You can fly!

                                      LUM

            Didn't you hear?  You should have studied us!  **giggle**

       ATARU realizes that this will not be as easy as he had thought.
       Over the next few days ATARU tries everything imaginable to get
       LUM, usually winding up in great pain, in the process.  Roller
       skates get him embedded into a telephone pole, a pole vault gets
       him to within an inch and then falls twenty feet to the concrete



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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


       below, and a jet pack explodes on his back.  Nothing works.

                                      LUM
                                 (tauntingly)

            Catch me!

       Scene: A television broadcast of the news.

                                  NEWS ANCHOR

            Earth's fate is on the wane.  Ataru and Lum's tag game has
            just one more day to go.  And all the world's criticism is
            being given at this cowardly Ataru.

       The picture cuts to another high ranking government official,
       presumably the Japanese Prime Minister.

                            GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL #2

            Good heavens, this Ataru is bad.  The whole responsibility
            is his!

       The picture cuts to a baseball player for a Tokyo baseball team.

                                BASEBALL PLAYER

            With this alien invasion, we're too worried to play base-
            ball!

       The picture cuts to Megane, Pamu, and Chibi, in their first
       appearance of the show.

                             MEGANE, PAMU & CHIBI

            Ataru!  Pay back our money!

       The picture now cuts back to the NEWS ANCHOR.

                                  NEWS ANCHOR

            ''If Ataru is beaten, it will be the death penalty for mank-
            ind!'' So writes the flood of mail we have received.

       CUT TO: ATARU'S MOTHER and FATHER, who are watching the news
       broadcast.

                                ATARU'S FATHER

            We're doomed!

                                ATARU'S MOTHER

            It'll be better if he 'd never been born. . .



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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


       Scene: ATARU's room.

       ATARU and SHINOBU are talking about the events of the last few
       days.  They, too, are not optimistic.  Things are getting
       desperate.

                                     ATARU

            What a fool I've been!  I didn't hear before the game began
            that Lum could fly.

                                    SHINOBU

            You lost your way in Lum's charms. . .  But she's not so
            glamorous.

                                     ATARU

            Yes, but. . .  Glamour or not, an enemy is still an enemy.
            Now I'll spend the rest of my life as a defeated person.

       ATARU looks more depressed than ever, so SHINOBU tries one last
       inducement.

                                    SHINOBU

            Ataru. . .  If you win, I'll marry you.

                                     ATARU

            Marry?!?

                                    SHINOBU

            We cannot endure our lives in shadow.

       ATARU is overcome with emotion and embraces SHINOBU.

                                     ATARU

            Shinobu. . . .

       Of course, ATARU being ATARU, he still tries to take advantage of
       the situation, and winds up squarely on the floor.

                                    SHINOBU

            Your lewdness is what got us into this mess!!

       Scene: The same street where all the previous games were fought.

       It is now the final day.  ATARU and LUM stand facing each other.

                                P.A. ANNOUNCER



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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


            Listen to the big cheers!  The final day is here at last!
            But what's the matter?  Ataru is showing no sign of move-
            ment.  Since its now all or nothing, can this be good?

                                     ATARU
                             (thinking to himself)

            I will be married!  And to get married, I'm allowed to use
            whatever means I can!

       From behind his back, ATARU produces a suction-cup dart gun,
       which he fires at LUM, at the same time shouting. . .

                                     ATARU

            I will be married!

       The dart lands on LUM's bikini top, and ATARU yanks the top off
       and into his hands (the dart was attached to a line, you see,
       which ATARU pulled on).  LUM is both surprised and thoroughly
       annoyed.

                                      LUM

            Aaaaaa!

                                     ATARU

            Hehe!  Did it!

                                      LUM

            Give it back!  My best clothes!  Give it back!

       ATARU throws the bikini-top onto the ground behind him, and LUM,
       now more concerned about getting some decent clothing on than
       anything, races to retrieve it.

                                     ATARU
                                (as LUM passes)

            I will be married!

       As LUM passes, ATARU grabs her horns, thereby saving the Earth.
       The crowd erupts in celebration, and LUM realizes she's been had.
       She is suitably impressed.

                                P.A. ANNOUNCER

            Goal!  At last, its done!  On the final day, Moroboshi Ataru
            has defended the Earth!  The result is abrupt!

                                      LUM
                          (in a sweet voice to ATARU)



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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


            I accept your offer of marriage.

       The REPORTERS hear this and start blazing away with questions and
       cameras.

                                   REPORTERS
                                  (to ATARU)

            Are you going to marry Lum?

                                     ATARU

            NO!  You don't. . . .

       LUM, meanwhile, has started to embrace ATARU, so much so he can't
       get a word out.  Of course, SHINOBU doesn't care much for this.

                                    SHINOBU
                              (extremely annoyed)

            Ataru----

                                     ATARU

            Shinobu. . . .

                                    SHINOBU

            You went to all that effort, so you could marry that per-
            son?!

                                     ATARU

            No, Shinobu . . . .

       SHINOBU departs in a huff.  LUM, meanwhile, has other things on
       her mind right now.

                                      LUM
                           (in a cute, sweet voice)

            Darling . . .

                                     ATARU

            Darling?!!!

                                      LUM

            On my planet, a marriage proposal is sacred.  If a person
            isn't faithful. . .

       She zaps ATARU.




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       Urusei                                               Yatsura


                                     ATARU

            Giiiiyyaaaa!

                                    CHERRY
                                 (looking on)

            It's fate.

       LUM puts her arms around a thoroughly zombied-out ATARU.

                                      LUM

            Darling, aren't you happy?  Oh, you're so sweet . . . . . .

       ---- And so the saga begins.

                                      END

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